


Another Man's Wife

by bittenfeld



Category: Bonanza
Genre: Emotional, F/M, Friendship/Love, Het, Kissing, Love Triangles, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittenfeld/pseuds/bittenfeld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just the beginning of a story.  An old flame of Ben’s, now married to a brutal man, comes back into his life.</p><p>She could feel Ben’s eyes on her, and she knew what he was not saying, and she knew she had to keep her gaze on the scenery around them and not look back into his eyes, because if she did, she just might forget the seventeen years between them, and Coaldale… and her husband… and hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Man's Wife

**Author's Note:**

> credit to: Bonanza ep 02-04 “The Mill” by Halsted Welles 10-01-60

The water had never looked so blue that she remembered. Set off against the rich green of the surrounding conifers, it beckoned invitingly, cool and peaceful.

The aroma of pine saturated the warm air; the midday sun filtered through the shifting needles, played in dancing patterns on the gingham picnic cloth beneath.

She could feel Ben’s eyes on her, and she knew what he was not saying, and she knew she had to keep her gaze on the scenery around them and not look back into his eyes, because if she did, she just might forget the seventeen years between them, and Coaldale… and her husband… and hell.

Wistfully she smiled. “You know, Ben, I’ve never forgotten to other picnic we had here…”

“Neither have I.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Yes.”

She tried to pay attention to a squawking blue jay darting through the branches above them, but her mind kept shifting to the man beside her, and she wanted him dearly. She wondered how he felt just then… no, she knew how he felt just then.

She tried to think of something innocuous to say. “It was so good to see your boys again, Ben. You know, Joe was just a baby the last time I saw him. They’ve turned into three fine handsome men.”

“I think so,” Ben agreed with a smile. “But then, I guess a father is allowed a little prejudice?”

She smiled and glanced back, and their eyes caught for a moment. Then quickly – too quickly – she looked down, and the smile vanished from her face.

Ben reached for her hand, stroked it gently. “Do you and Nat have any children?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s the one blessing in my life, if you could call it that, I suppose. The way he treats me… well, I don’t know what he’d do if we had children…” Nervously she looked away as though watching the lake.

“I’m sorry,” Ben apologized quietly. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Ben, she interrupted, with a little catch in her voice “Ben, how could I have been so wrong about him? What happened to him? What happened to the man I married?”

“I don’t know, Kathryn.” Ben shook his head. “I was wrong too. You think you know someone as a good friend, you think you understand what drives them; and then something happens, and you realize that you never knew them at all.”

“Ben, it’s been terrible…”

“I know.” Softly he took her hand again, caressed her fingers. “But try not to think about it anymore. At least not today. Not right now.”

She felt his gentle touch; a tremble went through her. She knew if she didn’t hold it in tight enough, she’d burst out in sobs.

“… It’s so good to see you again,” Ben was saying. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you all these past years. Why, in just the few days you’ve been here, you’ve brought back all that happiness. The Ponderosa seems more like a home…”

Care creased her forehead. “Don’t, Ben,” she managed. “Please…”

“I know the boys feel it too. The Ponderosa needs a woman, Kathryn… It needs you. _I_ need you.”

“Ben… you mustn’t forget… you can’t forget… I’m a married woman…”

“Kathryn, look at me.” He took her shoulders. “Look at me, Kathryn.”

Slowly, hesitantly, she turned her head toward him. The liquid dark eyes gazed at her beneath wiry grey brows, warm, penetrating, caring, begging; set in a face far handsomer in its maturity than the younger one she remembered from those many years ago.

The rich baritone voice spoke softly. “I love you.”

She closed her eyes in pain. “Ben, did you hear me?... Ben, please… don’t…”

“I love you, Kathryn.” His fingers touched her chin, lifted her head, drew her face closer. She came, half-willingly, half-unwillingly – knowing more than anything in the world she wanted it, and knowing more than anything in the world she shouldn’t.

And then their lips met – hesitantly at first, then more confidently – and it was warm and moist, and passionate, and good.

Then for just a moment, their mouths parted, only to join again tighter, firmer. And their lips worked against each other’s, giving and demanding pleasure and desire… and love… and it was more overpowering than either of them had thought it could be.

And they stayed there like that for a long, long time.  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Far behind them, on a small aspen-studded rise, Adam reined in the sorrel gelding. The couple at the lake edge were oblivious to him and the rest of the world. This wasn’t the time to interrupt; besides, what he had to tell his father could wait anyway.

Then tugging the quarter-horse around, he nudged it in the ribs.  
* * * * *

Across the room, Adam relaxed in the big overstuffed chair by the fireplace, with a book in his lap and a coffee cup at his elbow.

His father’s bootsteps on the hardwood floor behind him made him look up. “Hi,” he greeted. “Where’s Kathryn?”

Ben set his own cup on the low table in front of the hearth, and made himself comfortable on the couch. “Oh, she’s out on the back porch with Hoss and Little Joe, listening to one of their tall tales.” He grinned. “She’s a very polite listener.”

Adam agreed. “Lucky for them.” He started to return to his book, but then put it aside with disinterest. “How’s Nat doing these day?” he inquired. “She hasn’t said much about him.”

“No, she hasn’t.”

Carefully Adam observed his father’s face. Sudden pain and fatigue creased Ben’s visage. Adam tried to sound like he was just making conversation. “It’s been a long time, Pa.”

Ben just nodded.

Adam reached for his coffee-cup, fingered it idly, thinking about what he was going to say before he said it. “I was looking for you this afternoon… I, uh, saw you by the lake. Uh, don’t worry, Pa, I left as soon as I saw you were with Kathryn.”

Ben’s lips tightened into a thin line. “You just don’t understand, Adam.”

“Pa, I’m a man too.”

“There’s more to it than that.”

“I know, Pa, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. But, Pa, it’s been seventeen years, and she’s married. You can’t pretend that Nat Hewitt doesn’t exist.”

Ben didn’t answer.

“Pa, I’m sorry. If you want me to shut up, I will… But you know, if it was Hoss, or Little Joe, or me, you’d be saying the same thing to us.”

“Adam, you don’t know what it’s been like for her. It’s been hell. Nat’s been acting like a monster.”

. . . . .

 _to be continued_... _someday_...


End file.
